I was at lunch today with a lady that I love quite a lot. She is a very happy, spicy, fun 'senior citizen'. If I say her age I may be excommunicated, so I will just say that she is very young at heart and continues to be more young at heart each year. I love her dearly.
We have a mutual friend we were both very concerned about. I am responsible for much of this person's care. I felt very much that there was a judgement that I was not doing enough for our friend. I could see why she may have felt that way however, the truth was that I was doing all that I could. Our friend's care level had increased quite a bit over time and I had to look at where my energies were going and adjust accordingly. The friction in the situation began to get between us. I could feel it every time we were together and it made me sad. I felt she wasn't really hearing me and maybe she felt the same.
Spirituality is practical. I asked Spirit for guidance in what to do to resolve this so we could have peace in our relationship again. I felt so strongly to just call and talk openly about it. We all love conflict so much that I said 'are you sure there isn't another way? How about just a nice card?'. The response I felt so strongly in my heart was the same 'just call and talk about it'.
I made the call and we chatted for a minute and then I asked this dear lady if I had upset her somehow. What she said surprised me. She told me "No, it's not you. I am grieving the loss of our friend. I am watching her leave the planet right before my eyes and she is so precious to me. There is nothing I can do. I am doing my best to come to terms with it. That is what I am upset with and that is all. I having nothing against anyone. I am just truly grieving."
Grief shows up in many ways. It can show up by practically demanding that more be done, it can show up by withdrawing from others, it can show up by making the upset about almost anything except what it truly is which is losing your friend. I was so appreciative for the advice Spirit spoke into my heart to make that call. I was also so appreciative this dear lady was working hard to find a way through her grief. She knew she had to accept what is and she was working hard on that - me too. She wasn't going to stop living life but she had to find a way through what she was feeling to get to the other side of it and be able to move on. I am so appreciative that she was honest with me and allowed herself to be open and vulnerable with me. I could understand because I was going through the same thing. That phone call brought us close again. We understood we were both in pain and sadness and it was coming out in different ways. We had a big phone hug and then when I saw her today we had another beautiful hug.
Ask Spirit for help and guidance and then pay attention to what comes into your mind right after that. It may feel very logical so you may think to discount it but instead pay attention. That guidance may be to make a call or it may be to reach out with a card or it may be to just give them space and be more understanding at this time. Spirit is very practical; It is always about our well being and a win-win for everyone. Spirit wants you to have peace in your relationships as much as you do and more. So just ask and see where it takes you.
Blessings and love,
Paula, Life Coach Medium